I can’t stand it!

Seriously, it makes me so mad/sad to see what body image can do to people! I feel so sorry for girls and women who miss out on so much fun, joy and other good things, because they are obsessing about their looks. I can feel really pissed when I hear people fat talk or say other negative things about themselves. Below are a few examples with my comments on them. I know I may sound harsh and I do not want to preach about something while having body image issues every now and then myself (who doesn’t?). So I am going to put actions next to my words. I will be adding a picture of me in the situation each example describes.

I look awful after workouts, because I am all sweaty and red-faced! – Says the girl who just rocked herself through a die hard spinning class. No, you look like you just got a great workout! And like the Boyfriend says: girls look sexy when they are all sweaty, guys don’t even notice the red faces.

Just the other day I posted a picture on the blog of me being all sweaty. Here we go again:

 P6080019

Yes I am already tired but I decided to do this gym class too this week, because I can use some extra workouts before I am bikini ready – Says the beautiful girl with the flattest belly on earth. Hello? Since when do you need a body that looks photoshopped before you can go to the beach?

To be honest: I am not too fond of bikini pictures. What? I never said that I am without issues myself! But I do try to deal with them and I refuse to be held back by my own body image. Therefore I want to show a frontal picture of me in bikini here. But the only pictures I could find on my computer were made from flattering angles. So I made a new one. There you go.

plaatjes 006

And no, I am not going to say anything negative about it. I am just gonna tell you what the Boyfriend said when I asked him to take the pictures of me like this: ‘Why don’t we go to bed early today?’ 😛

I never wear short skirts or shorts, except when on vacation, because I have ugly knees – Come on! Like everyone is staring at your knees and saying ‘Wow have you seen those knees? Those are some ugly knees!’ And if they are so hideous, why would you do that to the people you see on vacation and not to the people at home? Btw: anyone knows what beautiful knees look like?

Since I don’t have any problems with my knees, it’s not fair if I would post a pic of my knees here (and I also didn’t feel like taking a picture of them right now), I will post a pic of the part of my body that I am least satisfied about (I told you I have issues too!).

plaatjes 001

Say hi to my love handles. They tend to ‘bulk’ out of my jeans. You can also see it in the previous picture. I have spent so much time obsessing about the line from my waist to my knees not being ‘less curvy’ and a ‘smoother curve’. Especially with the bikini on, it cuts into ‘all the fat’, bahaha. I still sometimes feel this way, but I finally accepted that that is just what bikinis do (unless you have no fat at all) and that there is nothing wrong with my curves. And the jeans issue is gone if just buy proper fitting jeans.

I never go to the pool, because I am fat and don’t want people to see me in my swim suit. – Please… Most people at the pool are too self-obsessed anyway to judge you. At least you are out there, getting some movement and some FUN. Honestly, when I see someone who is really fat I think this: She/He is fat, but I am glad they are enjoying themselves and I hope they take care of themselves. I don’t care if people have some lovehandles or whatever, but I do worry if they are obese, because it causes health problems (pay attention: worry is something else than judge; I don’t know if they are already working on it or that maybe there is something that they cannot lose the weight even if they wanted to).

Okay, I already posted a swimsuit picture, so I chose a picture in which I look bigger then I actually am (I am on the left). I know it’s not the same thing as actually being bigger, but still. When I first saw this picture I didn’t want to put it on the blog and write a post about this real fun high school girlfriends get together last month, or show it to others. But you know what? It was a fun afternoon, and this is a memory, so here it goes anyways:

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I hate every picture they make of me, I never look good in any of them – Why can’t you just savor the memory of the picture? Were you happy when it was made?

Ok, just take a look at this:

cocktail

A few years ago we went on a vacation together. The Boyfriend took some pictures of me while we were having cocktails (actually, it was just 1 cocktail). Did I tell you he is extremely talented in making ugly pictures of me? After the vacation I posted some pics on an online forum I am part of. I could have picked this much more flattering picture:

normaal

But the other one was so much more fun! It made me laugh so hard! I swear I didn’t look like that on purpose and I also swear it was only 1 cocktai! 😛 One girl on the forum said to me: ‘I can’t believe you posted that picture, I would never show such a picture-fail, I would be too afraid.’
I just stopped caring about how I look in pictures. If I look good, fantastic, if I don’t it’s ok and sometimes even laugh worthy. And I must admit that once I took that decision, the pictures started to look better to me too.

I never leave the house without make-up – Again, are you so hideous that you have to? Have you tried going without once? If yes, did people run away screaming in horror?

So here I am without any make up and even not in my best state ever. Remember my Daisy Do Glow challenge? And yes, I did go outside like that. As a matter of fact, I just wear mascara to work most of the time and on weekends I don’t bother to put anything on my face. I don’t use foundation or whatsoever.

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Phew, that are a lot of not so good looking pictures of me (even though I know you probably think they are not that bad). Please don’t judge me by saying ‘hey, it’s easy for you because you are slender and pretty’. Actually five out of the six examples I just mentioned were said to me by other good looking, slender women. This blog is from a gorgeous girl who used to have major issues about how she looked and the person she was (I could hardly believe it when I read that). Luckily, she came a long way, and she tells her story on her blog, go read it.
What I mean to say is that size and looks do not matter that much in how we view ourselves. That is why this is so difficult, we do this to ourselves! Of course, the media provides us with all these ‘perfect’ women that we are supposed to compare ourselves to. But the comparing is something that you decide to do for yourself. As a matter of fact, I think most models and celebrities look too skinny and not so good (Madonna, catwalk models). And the ones that do look amazing, most of them have extremely tough exercise and food regimes to look that way and they are still being photoshopped most of the time. (Seen this poster of the Sex and the City movie? A good example of what they can do, even though in this case they did it wrong). So I just stopped comparing myself. Of course I want to look my best, but that is within the limits of the person that I am. And if that means I will never get the curve of my hips ‘perfect’ or that I just look pregnant in those cute baby doll shirts and that I can never buy pants at Zara’s because they only fit women with a completely different body type: So Be It. This does not mean that I don’t have my bad days where the fat talk shows up again and feel completely ugly (PMS, anyone?). But overall, I am pretty much ok with myself. I am just glad that I have curves: I am a woman after all. And my legs are strong and I am healthy and very happy with that. I also noticed, while looking for ugly pictures of myself for this post, it was hard to find them. I guess my view on my own pictures has really changes over the years. It feels great to accept myself for who I am…

I AM AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL!

Now, tell me what you are proud about of yourself.

This post was written as a contribution to this great initiative of Caitlin:

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I hope you liked it and I hope I can help make a difference. I know writing it helped me accepting myself a little bit more.

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10 Responses to I can’t stand it!

  1. Kiersten says:

    I love this post! I admire you for putting up "less than flattering" pictures of yourself on your blog. I think you look beautiful!

  2. Lizzie says:

    Hi! We had sort of similar ideas for our Change the Way you See, Not the Way you Look posts! I couldn't agree with you more that it's frustrating to hear people limiting themselves because of (how they perceive) their physical appearance! And I love your cocktail picture- I have pics like that and every time I see them I crack up laughing. That's the best part of awkward pictures! Very cool post!

  3. Tina says:

    Wow! This is such a fabulous post. Your honesty and openness of sharing speak volumes. Also, I love how you rebuttal every one of those negative comments. And it all makes perfect sense. Great post!

  4. Julie says:

    Fantastic post!! I loved your honesty!! Thank you for writing it 🙂

  5. Monique says:

    WOW! AWESOME! What a flippin amazing post! Kudos to you, girl! Thanks for showing me what true courage and self love looks like. Loved it! Thanks for sharing and good luck on your journey.

  6. Jamie says:

    I clicked on this link from HTP and wow this is an amazing post. Thanks!

  7. Astrid says:

    Haha! The other day I went grocery shopping without any makeup at all. I don't wear much at all to begin with, but when I looked at myself in the mirror, I just laughed. Oops! But you know what? I don't look any different at all. I adore your honesty!

  8. Thank you for the nice comments! On my blog I try not to pretend to be any better than I am, though I am always trying to be my best. I wish more people would stop pretending and the world would be such a better place!

  9. Meleah says:

    This was wonderful! You have such a fantastic, positive attitude and all of your pictures were gorgeous, because you could see your wonderful personality shining through! Keep up the good work- this is great!

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